Here’s The Circumcision’s Pain (Part Twelve)




“Fermy Nurhidayat.”

I nodded and approached the beautiful coas. Then she took me to an examination room. After having acquaintanced immediately revealed the turmoil of my heart to her. I was sobbing, my heart still be ached. This coas took a tissue out of her pocket, picked a few pieces, and handed it to me.

As I was telling the chronology of calamity event that I’ve had, it appeared that she was thinking hard. It seemed that she was considering something. Having looked doubtful for a moment, she finally said,

“I am your school’s alumni.”

“Your father obviously was my ex-teacher.”

“Who is your father’s name, kid?.”

“Mr. Toha,” I replied bluntly.

“Do you know?.”

The girl nodded. Her eyebrows arched upward. It was obvious that she was very surprised.

“I just only know that he was a good teacher”

“Everyone says that,” I barely replied.

Once completed told to the beautiful coas, She allowed me to leave the room and waiting again. This time I will be faced with a real psychiatrist. She wanted me to told to the psychiatrists as I told her as coas.

“You are allowed crying if it is necessary, kid.” she told me again. I came several times to control to Saiful Anwar Hospital afterwards. Once it was clear that my father’s attitude remains unchanged. Even after his son was facing to a psychiatrist himself because of his behavior. I stopped my visited to Saiful Anwar General Hospital.




photograph by Astungkara Wiguna

Here’s The Circumcision’s Pain (Part Ten)




Psychopathy is a complex psychiatric disorder. They were actually mad, but life as a normal person. Life and can adapt to the surroundings harmoniously, and conceal his crimes. So little I know Psychopathy at that time. I did not want to make my wife and my children miserable.

By walking, I headed to Saiful Anwar Hospital from school. I asked for permission to Ms. Arimami for treatment purposes. I confessed dizziness. Ms. Arimami probably presumed me went to Polyclinic Malang Teachers’ Training College. When in fact, I went to Saiful Anwar Hospital to see a psychiatrist.

I headed for the registration booth and paid the treatment cost. Then I was asked by the clerk at the registration booth, I wanted to going to what polyclinic ?.

“Psychiatry or Mental Polyclinic, Ma’am.”

The clerk at the counter was surprised at me. In front of him was a junior high school boy in blue uniforms and white. He was only twelve years old. Still grade six PPSP Malang Teachers’ Training College Junior High, in accordance with the student card that I used to register.

“Where boy ?,” She asked, not sure.

I repeat my answer steadily,

“Psychiatry or Mental Polyclinic, Ma’am.”

Woman clerk at the counter was shaking her head as if to dislodge something bothering. Maybe she was having a nightmare, and what she faced today is not a real state. It’s so perhaps conceived in her mind.

I got a Medication Card with a register number in it. Written there my register number, 775 / PSK. I managed to remember that number because it coincided with my school identification number. Since entering Laboratory Teachers’ Training College Malang Kindegarten, I had identification number 775. Incidentally, the my number was both the same. So I always remember.

After registering and paying the cost of treatment, I headed to the post of security guard post to ask where Psychiatry Polyclinic was. Security showed me the location of Psychiatry or Mental Polyclinic kindly. I did look as cute and innocent junior high boy. As I told you anyway, my age was twelve years old. Just as the sixth grade age on elementary schools in other places.




photograph by Astungkara Wiguna