I clearly stress after the incident. I’m confused about bitching to whom ?. Ms Arimami, school counselors, obviously would not believe me. My father was the honored vice principal and Mathematics teacher there.
I did a lot of reading on the school library. I realized that I was having severe psychological disorders. I felt this last clash was incredible. I did not know yet, to be where I’m going to ask for help. At least that my father being a little more normal as fathers and parents. But he was, my father would never be normal anyway. I thought he was a psychopath.
I felt desperate. I needed help. Even though I was twelve years old at the time, but my thinking horizon had already quite extensive. I’ve read the whole children reading book reading on the school library, and began to read books of general knowledge and education that was provided for teachers and other school employees.
I felt that my psychic health already began to fail. I feel unstable. I need a psychiatrist. At least that was what could be imagined to solve my problem at the time. I considered this after read books on the school library as well.
“I asked for money Mom,” I said to my mother.
“For what, Mit ?,” Asked my mother. It was the question that was taken for granted.
I think I should go to the hospital.”
“I should have met a psychiatrist,” I explain to my mother.
Mom understood the turmoil that I’ve had, she gave me a little money to go to Saiful Anwar Hospital. A large government hospital in Malang. My resolve was unanimous. I want to consult a psychiatrist. I do not know a better way than this. I’ve been a little reading about the psychopathy in the school library. It was a horrible psychiatric disorders. I’ve been feeling a victim myself. I did not want to father’s illness was contagious to me indeed.
photograph by Astungkara Wiguna
Mrs. Indra’s Angerness
As I told you before, in this the second grade, we moved to Jalan Magelang number four.It was still inside Malang Teachers’ Training College’s complex. Neighborhood the school was campus campus and college’s staff housing of Malang Teachers’ Training College. Stepping on the second grade, I became an avid reader because we had a library in this school’s local. There is no library on our previous school’s local on Simpang Bogor Street.
Our school’s library were very spacious and comfortable. It was filled with hundreds of titles. Start from scientific books to fiction’s books. Of course that was suitable for our age, the students here. Because of our library was large enough, then the school puts three librarian there. They were Mrs. Darti, Mr. Gatot and Mr. Sa’ie. Mr. Sa’ie was placed as a school library clerk after graduating his education which equivalent to D-II, if I was not wrong. D-II in Indonesia’s diploma school is taken over two years. He is no longer a school janitor as before. Yes, Mr. Sa’ie was a school janitor before gaduated from his diploma.
Every time we borrowed a library book, then we are required by the school library to collect a synopsis of the book that we have read. Therefore, in addition to having a notebook to attend the daily lessons, we also have a notebook to make a synopsis for reading books’ activity on the library. Should we collected it’s synopsis when we returned the books we had borrowed. If we failed to collect a synopsis of the book we had read, we were not allowed to borrow more books.
I’d always been the first champion or rank on the library’s books reading from first entered the second grade at this school’s complex at Magelang Street number four and got to know the school’s library, to graduate school in the eighth grade later. Other generation or lifting might be had alternated champion’s reading quarterly or semester, but especially for my lifting, I was the one who had always been a first champion for books reading’s activity on the library. But, I had only twice perceived to be the first rank or champion in the class. Once when with Mrs. Etty in second grade, and once another at the fourth grade when Mr. Kanang become my homeroom teacher.
Pict had given by my friend