Here’s The Circumcision’s Pain (Part Ten)

Psychopathy is a complex psychiatric disorder. They were actually mad, but life as a normal person. Life and can adapt to the surroundings harmoniously, and conceal his crimes. So little I know Psychopathy at that time. I did not want to make my wife and my children miserable.

By walking, I headed to Saiful Anwar Hospital from school. I asked for permission to Ms. Arimami for treatment purposes. I confessed dizziness. Ms. Arimami probably presumed me went to Polyclinic Malang Teachers’ Training College. When in fact, I went to Saiful Anwar Hospital to see a psychiatrist.

I headed for the registration booth and paid the treatment cost. Then I was asked by the clerk at the registration booth, I wanted to going to what polyclinic ?.

“Psychiatry or Mental Polyclinic, Ma’am.”

The clerk at the counter was surprised at me. In front of him was a junior high school boy in blue uniforms and white. He was only twelve years old. Still grade six PPSP Malang Teachers’ Training College Junior High, in accordance with the student card that I used to register.

“Where boy ?,” She asked, not sure.

I repeat my answer steadily,

“Psychiatry or Mental Polyclinic, Ma’am.”

Woman clerk at the counter was shaking her head as if to dislodge something bothering. Maybe she was having a nightmare, and what she faced today is not a real state. It’s so perhaps conceived in her mind.

I got a Medication Card with a register number in it. Written there my register number, 775 / PSK. I managed to remember that number because it coincided with my school identification number. Since entering Laboratory Teachers’ Training College Malang Kindegarten, I had identification number 775. Incidentally, the my number was both the same. So I always remember.

After registering and paying the cost of treatment, I headed to the post of security guard post to ask where Psychiatry Polyclinic was. Security showed me the location of Psychiatry or Mental Polyclinic kindly. I did look as cute and innocent junior high boy. As I told you anyway, my age was twelve years old. Just as the sixth grade age on elementary schools in other places.

photograph by Astungkara Wiguna

Here’s The Circumcision’s Pain (Part Nine)

I clearly stress after the incident. I’m confused about bitching to whom ?. Ms Arimami, school counselors, obviously would not believe me. My father was the honored vice principal and Mathematics teacher there.

I did a lot of reading on the school library. I realized that I was having severe psychological disorders. I felt this last clash was incredible. I did not know yet, to be where I’m going to ask for help. At least that my father being a little more normal as fathers and parents. But he was, my father would never be normal anyway. I thought he was a psychopath.

I felt desperate. I needed help. Even though I was twelve years old at the time, but my thinking horizon had already quite extensive. I’ve read the whole children reading book reading on the school library, and began to read books of general knowledge and education that was provided for teachers and other school employees.

I felt that my psychic health already began to fail. I feel unstable. I need a psychiatrist. At least that was what could be imagined to solve my problem at the time. I considered this after read books on the school library as well.

“I asked for money Mom,” I said to my mother.

“For what, Mit ?,” Asked my mother. It was the question that was taken for granted.

I think I should go to the hospital.”

“I should have met a psychiatrist,” I explain to my mother.

Mom understood the turmoil that I’ve had, she gave me a little money to go to Saiful Anwar Hospital. A large government hospital in Malang. My resolve was unanimous. I want to consult a psychiatrist. I do not know a better way than this. I’ve been a little reading about the psychopathy in the school library. It was a horrible psychiatric disorders. I’ve been feeling a victim myself. I did not want to father’s illness was contagious to me indeed.

photograph by Astungkara Wiguna